Where to Start
by Roguie
Summary: They're closer than ever, understanding that their time together is too short for little things to get in between.  Why now, when they're just settling in to their new-old life, are they slipping back into old habits?  Abby/Connor, Fluffy/Angst, Oneshot.


A/N: So here we are, bravely venturing into Primeval fiction #2. Something seriously bugged me about 4x04; I've pondered it since I first saw it, and since it just aired here in Canada last night, I had a double check over what was irking me. This is what spawned from my re-view. Most of this fiction is internal, so yes, it's mildly wibbley wobbly but have you ever had a train of thought that wasn't? (if you have, I'm jealous!)

A/N 2: Been considering a more naughty addendum to this fiction to be posted separately. Will write it if it's wanted, so those in a position to be reading smutty goodness, please let me know - you've got three choices - yes, not really, or go hide in a corner and shut up. Other than that, please read and review, because no reviews make me a sad girl thinking I've written rubbish.

Spoilers: All of the events of 4x04 - mentioned over and over all the way through - no surprise left.

Summary: Since they've been back they've been closer than ever, understanding that their time together was too short for little things to get in between. Why now, when they're just settling in to their new-old life, are they slipping back into old habits, and letting the hurt in through the cracks? Connor/Abby - Fluffy angst - One-shot.

**Disclaimer: I so obviously don't own Primeval; I just like to borrow the characters and mutate their inner voices. Please don't sue, my house is small, my car is useless and my dogs are pains in the arse, but they're all I have.**

**Where to Start?**

**By: Danae Bowen**

They'd gone at each other that morning over something mild and stupid and likely Connor's fault. Words flew between them leaving each other hurt and angry. When Jess called regarding an anomaly, they'd stormed out of the flat and to their car in silence, Connor slumping down in the passenger side as Abby took the wheel and sped them towards the co-ordinates Jess had transmitted to their black box. Full scale creature incursion, she'd said, get there fast, and so they did.

They'd not spoken a word before the car came to a stop, but as Abby stepped out from behind the wheel, she'd turned to face him. Her eyes were ice cold, her jaw was set, and Connor braced himself for the verbal shredding he knew was coming.

"When we're out there, just stay clear of me, Connor Temple," Her voice dripped acid, scalding him as the words landed. "You're a distraction, 'n judging by the mess I can see from here, that's gonna get me killed today." She lifted an eyebrow when he didn't fight back and shrugged. "So just find somewhere to stay out of the way, would you do, Connor?"

He wanted to yell, wanted to scream, wanted to explain to her exactly how unfair she's being since he'd been front line since they'd come back. His gun was just as big as hers, and he wasn't the same bloke who'd accidentally tranqed her a lifetime ago. He wanted to grab her and pin her to the car, holding her there until she told him exactly what was eating away at the Abby he knew, at the Abby he loved. Girls overreact, he's not stupid, he knows that, and he's always taken the barrage of angry Abby with a fair amount of grace, but since they'd returned they'd been closer, been different, they would say harsh things but they'd forgive moments later; they'd learned their lesson - time is too short to let the little things keep them apart. So why, why now was she reverting back to the Abby she'd been before Stephen's death, before Cutter's death, before the year in the cretaceous? She'd not slept in his bed since he'd returned from the creature invasion at the school, in fact, she'd barely spoken to him after her outburst at the ARC. He'd thought she'd been over the whole Burton wanting to destroy the Menagerie an hour after she'd vented on him, leaning up to whisper a soft sorry and a kiss to the cheek before she'd gone off with Matt, Becker and Jess to debrief the situation that cost the life of the little girl. After that? He snorted as he got out of the car and moved to where Matt was waiting with the armed guard. After that, she'd gone mental - only way to describe it.

He trudged through the woods next to Matt, noting that Abby'd gone off with several of the military guys that were on staff at the ARC rather than staying with the core team. He sighed, eyeing her with a heavy heart; she'd come out of that debriefing only to storm off home, leaving him to catch a ride with Jess that evening. When he got to the flat, he went immediately to the room they'd been sharing, but she wasn't to be found. He lifted an eyebrow and moved to the back bedroom, opening the door and offering her a curious expression as she looked up from the bed she was curled up in, her small body swallowed by pillows and comforters.

"You don't knock, now?"

Cold in this room, he thought to himself. Wonder if Jess'd checked the thermostat and let him know if it was the air or the girl.

"And you do, now?" He snorted wryly. "Best tell me when that happened, 'cause last I remember we had no doors and then no reason for them."

"Connor, go back to your room. You've that meeting with Phillip first thing, 'n I'm not in the mood to talk."

He blinked, absolute hurt and confusion spreading from his dark eyes to his soft lips, forcing his body to tense. "You know what, Abby?" His words were harsh and heavy, he frowned and cut them off before they became hurtful. "Forget it. I came here to find out what I'd done now, but clearly there's no point because you're just irrational. Irrational Abby. Talking to Irrational Abby is worse than talking to a bloody wall, so when you've gone sane again, you know which room to find me in."

He'd spun on his heel storming past Jess watching with wide eyed surprise from the living area. Their voices hadn't been quiet and there'd be no way she could have missed the anger radiating from her newest friends. In the interest of self preservation, Jess lowered her head, turning her attention back to the magazine she was reading, fully intending to stay quiet while they ride out whatever had grown between them.

Connor'd found it difficult to sleep that night, tossing back and forth, his body cold and longing for the warmth of Abby's flesh pressed against his. His single heartbeat struck an out of time rhythm with no mate to match it's tones, and he'd had to grind his teeth together to keep the hurt from pouring out in tears. Wouldn't do him any good for Abby to find him crying, he supposed, just more likely to push her on whatever binge had overtaken her.

So he'd waited. Morning came as it always does, they'd had after each other in the kitchen until Jess backed out of the flat, hands in front of her to ward off the anger and bad vibes floating on the air. Not long had passed before she was calling from the ARC with the anomaly alert, and now, Connor found himself flying through the air, Matt's sudden grip on his shirt tearing loose the sleeve, while yelling something with regards to him being an idiot and opening his eyes for once in his god forsaken life.

_"Just find somewhere to stay out of the way, would you do, Connor?" _

Apparently he couldn't even do that right.

As his arm exploded into pure white heated agony, the stray thought caused Connor to sigh a split second before he began to scream.

~~3

So, she was being a slight bit unfair. The beaten puppy dog look of hurt that he wore whenever she spoke to him now was starting to wear around the edges and his voice was starting to edge up, grow sharper. Abby supposed that eventually he was going to bite back and it would be her own fault.

She purposely went off with a troop of Becker's men to analyze the environment surrounding the anomaly, looking for any evidence in the underbrush that the creatures had killed or taken any damage to themselves in the last skirmish they'd had with the ARC armed personnel. Her eyes, however, continued to stray to Connor, taking some comfort in the look of pure misery on his face as he'd occasionally catch her gaze, and she sighed.

How could she tell him that watching the CCTV video footage of what went down at the high school had thrust her heart well into her throat? That she wasn't sure it had returned to her chest as of yet, and not particularly sure it would do any time soon. She'd watched as Becker'd been swarmed, bitten and dragged away just shortly after the same fate had befallen a teenaged girl. She watched as Connor ran alone down corridors, creatures in the walls and ceiling, ready to drag him off at any time. If Matt'd been just a minute later, if Jess'd not gotten those doors open in time, if Connor'd had to take the shot and had missed when the creature attacked...the thoughts that came to her were horrible and above it all, she watched as he'd thrown himself in front of those boys, he'd shielded their bodies with his own, much as he'd done with her over and over again. If any one factor had been different in the minutes leading up to Matt putting down the attacking creature, Connor would be dead, and Abby'd be alone. What's worse? Matt had ordered Connor out of the building and rather than saving himself, he'd convinced those boys to go back into the mix, putting himself and them back into danger - granted saving Matt and Becker, but risking himself all the same.

Connor was supposed to be the science guy, the one that was in the background of all the danger, using his brains not his body to save lives. The first bit when they'd returned had been okay - least once he'd gotten the lark about with Duncan out of his system. Burton'd kept him occupied in the ARC, kept him out of the main line, kept him safe and in a room with computers where he could thrive, and that was fine by her. Any other time they'd been out, she'd been there to watch over him, a word from her enough to bring his readily wandering attention back to the dangers at hand. The day before, where was she? She growled softly under her breath, her frustration clouding her crystal blue eyes. She hadn't been there, wasn't there to watch him, encourage him, and certainly wasn't there to help save him when that creature had him cornered. She'd been so concerned with the Menagerie that she'd let Connor go off with just Matt and Becker for backup. She'd been so concerned with saving a mammoth that she'd let the one human who accepted her for all her faults put himself in danger without her there to have his back. She'd been too concerned with her pets to concern herself with her lover, and when she'd seen all that had happened, the guilt was near overwhelming. He'd not held it against her, not for one second as he returned, big grin on his face, glad for her that all had worked out on her end as well as his. In return, she'd snapped and hissed at him and his grin faded, a hood falling down over his dark eyes, hurt and confusion lacing her name upon his lips. This is how she's treated him and yet he continues to come back.

"Why, Connor?" she whispers and as if he's heard her he lifts his head, looking in her direction. For a moment she sees a ghost of his old smile curling his lips, and for a moment her body relaxes. He'll take her back and forgive her her lack of thought and for a moment she has no doubt. Then the smile dies and he's gone back behind the Abby-proof walls he'd constructed over the years to protect himself from the hurt and disappointment she'd always laved upon him.

Right. Fine. It was apology time, she supposed. Perhaps tonight while Jess is out doing her daily check-up on Becker Abby'd find someway of making it up to him. She chuckled, her eyes straying back to him, drinking in his tousled hair and slim body. Tonight, she'd make it all about him - they would spend the time together, and rather than the night be about her pleasure it would be about his: his pleasure, his desires, his fulfilment, and just maybe when she was through, when she was clasped tight around him and encouraging him in the way only she could, that seed of self doubt she continually planted in his heart would finally die.

Without realizing it, her entire being lightened as her decision finalized. She chuckled wryly, turning away from the men accompanying her, and began the short trek towards Connor. It was odd, that feeling of being only half there when they'd been fighting. Years back, he had come to her pleading for a week on her sofa, he'd wormed his way into her heart and soul within a month leaving her with no way to separate herself from him, he'd screamed out his love for her for all to hear, and he'd waited silently for her to realize she'd long since lost the battle to keep him out. Since the moment she'd first pressed her lips to his, drinking in the flavour and the scent that was only Connor, not caring that others, including her brother, could see - she'd been lost. It was like a door slamming open, or a dam being lifted, whatever metaphor came to mind to describe the instant bond that formed between them and from that point onward, she'd needed him as much as she'd needed food and air.

A bright grin crossed her face and her blue eyes began to shine and dance as she grew closer to her team, and to her man. A bright grin that began to falter the moment she registered the sound of breaking underbrush and snapping branches ahead and to the left. A bright grin that faded into a frozen mask of horror as the large creature that shot out from the bush grabbed hold of his arm, sinking its teeth into the soft flesh it found there and continuing it's blinding quick trek across the forest floor with Connor Temple in tow.

"Connor!"

When Abby reached Matt, he was standing facing the direction the animal had taken off with Connor, Connor's shirt sleeve dangling from his finger tips. He turned to face her, his face pale.

"I tried to hold on, but the fabric gave, there was no time to do anything else." Matt stared back into the underbrush, frantically giving Becker's men hand signals to send them deeper into the forest, to find and bring back Connor. "Bloody idiot wasn't looking, wasn't thinking. He had plenty of time to move, I don't understand why he just stood there."

She stared up at him, the colour having drained from her face, her blue eyes large and with each passing second growing more and more shielded as the pain and panic threatened to take over. A year before she'd stood on strange ground, screaming at Connor to do something to help her brother because Jack was all she had in the world. For a year after she and Connor had lived in a strange world, each the only life line to humanity the other had.

_"Just find somewhere to stay out of the way, would you do, Connor?"_

After all they'd seen and pulled each other through, how was it even remotely possible that those would be her last words to him? How could she have left the flat angry with him, when he'd done nothing to deserve it? How could she have spent their last night in a guest bedroom, leaving him to sleep by himself when neither had slept alone in more than a year? How could she have chosen mere animals over the sweet, gentle stray boy she'd taken in more than four years prior, who'd given her in love more than she'd ever be able to repay?

She never felt the arms come around her that escorted her back to her car, she never heard Jess's frantic voice in her ear issuing orders to everyone, asking if she was all right. She sat in the car, stunned, watching out the open door into the forest for any sign that they'd found Connor.

Or Connor's body.

Whatever it is you're thinking of doing, she looked up at the sky, praying silently to whatever entity may be listening, please stop. Don't let him have been dragged through the anomaly, don't let him be dying alone somewhere away from home.

"Please!" she whispered, her heart breaking and shattering into tiny slivers of shrapnel, shredding her borderline calm visage as tears began the long trek down her pale cheeks.

Rumbling came from in the forest, and she climbed from the car as she picked up a few bits of shouting that the anomaly was closing. Her lungs ceased drawing air, her blood cease flowing through her veins, the entire world stopped turning as Abby hit her knees, shaking too hard to hold herself up. The piece of plastic crackled in her ear and her eyes caught sight of a hand waving frantically from under a fallen tree far back to the left, nearly overlooked.

"I'm alright," came his distinctive voice over the transmitter, and as Abby began to cry outright enough strength returned to her legs to force her forward and into the bush. She had to push her way through Becker's men that were rolling the fallen tree stump off Connor's leg, push her way past Matt who was poking at the bite marks on his bicep, bloodying what was left of his shirt, and push her way past the brush that they were pulling him out of, but when she got past it all, there he stood in one piece.

She sighed, trying to steady her breathing, knowing there was no way to hide her tears as her mascara streaked black lines down her cheeks. "Idiot," she whispered, not able to find anything better to say.

He winked at her, a hesitant smile breaking through the streaks of blood left behind by a blow to his head. "Scared you, didn't I?"

She matched his gentle smile, shaking her head. "Must've done, my heart's racing and I've not done anything to get it going."

He pulled himself out of Matt's grip, grabbed her hand and dragged her towards him, wrapping his arms around her, ignoring the shot of pain from his broken flesh. He tucked her hard up against him, her head resting under his jaw, waiting as he felt the shivers flowing through her body begin to slow and die off. "Sorry, won't happen again."

She chuckled softly, pressing her face into his chest. "Best not; Rex'd miss you."

"Yeah, he would. Good little mate; glad he made it through Burton's genocide plan unscathed." He cringed uncertainly, should he have said anything?

"I'd miss you too, y'know?" She said, a little softer.

He grinned, in fact his entire face broke into his thousand watt Connor Temple smile and he crushed her to him, lifting her off the ground easily, ignoring the protests of his wounds. "Yeah, figured as much, what with the racoon style makeup, 'n all."

"Don't be an ass, Conn."

He chuckled softly and led them back through the forest and back to her car, door still ajar. "C'mon, Abs, let's go home and I'll make it up to ya, real proper."

Abby lifted an eyebrow, caught Connor's wink and laughed, actually laughed as she slipped into the passenger side, for once allowing Connor to take the wheel.

"Jess," she whispered into the earpiece, as Connor was distracted with waving off Matt.

"Yeah, I figured as much; I've got a spare bag in my locker." Abby could almost hear the thoughtful grin pass over Jess's lips. "Suppose Becker won't mind if I sleep on his couch tonight?"

Abby giggled, thinking back to the first day Connor stood at the door to her flat, begging her and then blackmailing her for a bit of a kiss. She grinned as she looked at him, a dirty, bloody boy that still followed her like a pup, but God did she love him.

"The sofa's the best place to start, Jess... trust me. Never know where it'll go from there."

~~~Fin


End file.
